ATTORNEYS 1/28/07

How is a litigation attorney like a burrowing frog?
They both hide in mud holes and wait for the prey to fall in.

Attorneys. Can't live with them or without them.
I coulda done without the attorney from some association or other that I had met at a meeting I'd gone to for the free lunch. He used my screwing from the insurance companies as a rallying call for the service coordinators at some other meeting later during that same week. Oh, he didn't mention any names or details.
Still, when I heard that he said, "And how about those insurance companies fighting over whether an accident falls under workers' comp or 'no-fault' insurance?" was enough to piss me off. That man is useless to me, a snob. He does a lot of good for many people and places but I do not have to like his grandstanding. And I don't. And I don't read his blog either. So there.

Most of us who have had to deal with automobile accidents or workers' comp related to our traumatic brain injuries have also had to hire on an attorney. And sometimes we need one in order to get Social Security Disability.
Five days after my accident, I was sitting in an attorney's office a mass of hurt and rage. I dumped all of the work papers on his table and I said, "I can't even read these." He took them from me and he explained what I did and did not have to do.
What I was able to do for the first couple of months was, "not much." I was sleeping twenty hours a day. Aside from eating and gulping down large amounts of coffee, not a whole lot was able to get done during the four hours a day that I roused myself from my slumber.
Some lady at work kept calling me, insisting that I fill out the papers. What the hell was a matter with her? Didn't she know that I was sleeping?
No, Mz Blackhead, I didn't fill out the papers.
No, Mz Blackhead, I can't go to the company doctor 35 miles away.
No car.
Accident.
Got totalled.
My doc is 3 miles up the road and I can get there by cab.

[I heard Mz Blackhead whining to the company attorney 8 or 9 months later about how I wouldn't fill out the forms. She may have been whining but I had spent considerable time bitching about no money coming in for 8 or 9 months while the two insurance companies fought over my bills...].

All of those places-- my ex-workplace, my automobile accident insurer, the workers' compensation board, the U.S. Government-- have attorneys working for them to protect their interests. At times, it felt like it was their interests over my medical care and my life.

It is very difficult not to personalize this stuff while going through it and even after it. None of us are automations. We are indeed persons. And as people, yes, we do tend to personalize stuff.

Without my attorney who:

filled out the confusing work forms for me or refused to fill a few out [example: a Safety Report asking how I could have 'prevented' the accident? Uh, I dunno. Kill all the pot smokers? my accident was the direct result of a man who had decided to smoke one joint before driving],

told me I was not to talk to any more bill collectors [after telling one twice to go eff himself],

explained to me exactly what it is I have and what I had to do about it, fought for my medical care and my life in an arena blinded to what a traumatic brain injury is and how profound an effect it has on a life--

I woulda been fodder.

And then there were:

All the doctor visits and the physical therapy visits and the aborted cognitive art "therapy" which I got kicked out of over the phone for refusing to go get drugged by HER personal internist.

The medical office which had two months to send my records to the cognitive rehab people and couldn't do that until a week AFTER my appointment. Geez.

The t.b.i. specialists were very compassionate and competent. Some of the other physicians I've dealt with could barely disguise their dislike or hatred for the legal profession. Still and all, if it wasn't for my attorney, those same docs would still be waiting for the insurance companies to quit fighting over me and pay up on the medical bills.

The effect of the joke might be lost on those who have never had the pleasure of owning a burrowing frog or two. Frogs make great pets, if anyone is in the market for a pet or two, I recommend them highly.

sapphoq healing t.b.i.

BRAIN DAMAGE AND CIGARETTES 1/26/07

Scientists noticed that folks with stroke-- who sustained injury to the "insula" [or insular cortex] just under the frontal lobes near the ear-- lose their desire to smoke cigarettes [assuming they were smokers in the first place] and just don't do it anymore. To the researchers' credit, they aren't suggesting that smokers go out and get their insulas damaged.

To further explain: The insula, a region deep within the brain that is a little bigger than a toonie, is believed to translate physical signals from the body into emotional feelings such as anxiety, hunger or a craving, said co-principal investigator Dr. Antoine Bechara of the Brain and Creativity Institute at the University of Southern California. [end of quote from http://www.canada.com/ ]

Some scientists want to try transcranial magnetic stimulation or some form of biofeedback on the insular cortexs of non-damaged smokers. Others want to develop pharmaceutical drugs to target the area in an effort to reduce cravings in addicts. Researchers are warning that because the study was performed on 69 patients, the results cannot be extrapolated to larger groups of addicts who are addicted to other stuff.

Unfortunately, folks with stroke with the same injury to the "insula" don't quit overeating. Apparently, smoking is considered to be learned pleasure and overeating isn't. [I don't know why that would be-- something to do with eating itself being considered to be necessary for survival.] Rats. I thought they might have been on to something there.

sapphoq healing t.b.i. [and a.b.i.]

A BLUE LIGHT FOR THE BLUES 1/23/07

I slept away most of the day. I had no motivation for getting out of bed other than bathroom breaks. It snowed today. Just a little bit. Tonight I took the dog for a short ride and a romp through the snow. It glistened like broken glass.

Folks with traumatic brain injuries are prone to a new bout of psychiatric woes or worsening of pre-existing mental conditions. Major depression is a long-haul thing to deal with. [At least there exists good treatment to keep it manageable.] Plus, it is cold outside. The sun took a vacation to San Diego or some place like that. Those people who are interested in light spectrum therapy now have medical folks advocating for blue light therapy. That's nice I suppose.

I'd rather get some real exposure on a beach in San Diego or somewheres warm. Maybe I can assemble myself a light box and play reggae while using it every morning. Go down to the town sand supply shed and take some home in a bucket. Throw it around the bedroom for effect.

sapphoq healing t.b.i.