Friday, November 30, 2007

Circle Work with Insects

I have been thinking about stealing spiritual practices from other cultures, particularly [in the Untied States] the indigenous tribes of the Americas. There are new agers, white lighters, wiccans, and some folks who don't know what else to do with their money who are all souped up on shamanism, medicine circles, and other practices which they believe to be the real thing. And because there is an average of a sucker born every minute, there are lots of grown up suckers willing to part with their hard-earned cash to go on vision quests. And there is a market for those glossy slick-backed "Medicine Cards" with the nice drawings of Bear and Shells and stuff on them.

Awhile back, I posted to an e-group which I no longer belong to asking about how come no one ever claims the cockroach as their special animal. Everyone wants wolves, lions, tigers, bears, eagles, buffaloes, deer, frog. But absolutely no one wants to have any sort of spiritual relationship with a cockroach. The cockroach is the most successful evolutionary experiment, able to adapt under a myriad of conditions, and quite the traveler too. The spiritually bent should be fasting and begging for Cockroach to be their power insect or totem animal. But alas, not.

Now and again, there are folks who assign mythical beasties to the four cardinal directions or elements in a working circle. Dragons and unicorns abound, right along with the more traditional undines and salamanders. Phoenix and sirens, gargoyles and mermaids yet nary a real insect is noted.

For those who are so inclined, I present the Circle of Insects!

earth: deer tick, cockroach, wood bee, head louse, termite, house fly, ground killer wasp

air: flea, white-faced hornet, pubic crab, fruit fly, horse fly, jumping spider, hover fly

fire: firefly, honey bee, wasp, sweat bee, fire ant, red ant, scorpion

water: skate, diving beetle, mosquito, springtail, noctuid moth, leech, stone fly
sapphoq healing t.b.i.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Job Ideas for spike q. poet

*Disclaimer: not necessarily approved of by the local unimaginative VESID/O.V.R. office*

1. Grow hissing cockroaches, crickets, and earthworms-- may distress lover.

2. Photograph frogs.

3. Breed frogs-- too technical. Apparently frogs in captivity can't figure out how to do it without
human intervention.

4. Rescue unwanted or hurt amphibians-- lover thinks fifteen frogs are enough.

5. Raise llamas--- may really distress lover.

6. Trail guide and llama trekking-- requires llamas.

7. Breed snakes-- lover will move out.

8. Receptionist at very quiet office with no telephone lines.

9. Starving artist-writer.

10. Inspirational speaker.

11. Career coaching.

12. Have year round yard sales.

13. Sell things on the web-- requires things that people will want to buy.

14. Drive a truck-- spinal problems will rebel.

15. Teacher's aide-- hate kids in groups of more than one.

16. Landlord-- been there, done that, ain't doing that to myself again.

17. Event planner-- poor organizational skills.

18. Be a clown or stand-up comic.

19. Start a new religion-- bad karma.

20. Grow flowers in a greenhouse-- requires greenhouse.

21. Professional poker player.

22. Raise corn, hay, and other stuff-- requires farm.

23. Own a human services agency-- would rather manually shovel cow shit.

24. Restaurant hostess at a very slow restaurant.

25. Cook at a small diner-- people will die.

sapphoq healing t.b.i.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Four Years

Last week I passed my four year anniversary since my car accident and my traumatic brain injury. I thought somehow I would be working by now. Although I am closer to working now than I've been. Yeah, I am writing a novel and that is cool. To me though, that doesn't really "count" until the contract has been signed and an advance check is in my sweaty hands. I have one potential job substituting for a dishwasher should they get sick and another possibility to work for a friend who is manager at a restaurant. I don't think I will mind washing dishes once in awhile. Working at the friend's restaurant-- well, I gotta start over again somewhere. I haven't even been able to get an interview to deliver newspapers. So I will take what I can get and remember it is just for now, just until I can find something else.

I still have my vision problems, the mild expressive aphasia, and the occasional vertigo. As far as medical experts say, traumatic brain injury is permanent. We improve over time at some stuff, especially if we keep working at it but the basic brain injury itself is there and will be there. Folks say that "the brain can regenerate isn't that amazing?" sort of thing until I am sick of hearing it. Again, I will tell yas that yes, some neurons can regenerate however they do not always reconnect to the correct halves [causing cognitive slowdowns] or at all to anything [causing a central nervous system tremor which yes I do have].

I will never be who I was. I won't lie for the sake of the comfort of others and claim that who I am is a new improved model because it isn't. I don't believe that "all things happen for a reason" or that "I'm right where some god wants me to be" or that "there are no true coincidences." What I think is that life is sacred-- neither fair nor unfair-- and that it is the finite part of our selves that requires and maybe even demands meaning, thus we create it. I don't particularly feel bound by any compulsion to have reasons and lessons for learning. I think that life is far beyond our petty little explanations. Most other folks I know find comfort in believing that there is some sort of grand plan. That stuff doesn't help me though so I dumped it.

Some things have improved. My hearing-- which was supersonic before my accident and right on the borderline of needing a hearing aid or two afterwards-- has re-established itself into the supersonic category as per the last audiology test this summer. The addition of a c-pap machine after two sleep studies and a diagnosis of sleep apnea has really helped me to have a life [although it takes me much longer than average to get into REM sleep, at least I am dreaming again at night]. I keep working on my aphasia and now most folks don't notice it. I got involved with an incredimail creators' group [thanks Jeremy Crow] and that has been of immense help to me in restoring motivation.

If the accident didn't happen, we would have been better off financially and I would not have had my career viciously kicked out from under me. If suffering builds character and strength, I certainly could have done with a bit less of both of those things. In a perfect world, folks who smoke pot would be picked up by the magic yellow submarine bus and driven anywheres they had to go. [The driver who ran my car into a house was high on marijuana]. In a perfect world, we wouldn't need lawyers to protect us from our places of employment after we get hurt, little kids wouldn't be abused or die of starvation and diseases and all stuff like that. But it is not a perfect world. So I just have to do the best I can [most days] with what I got. As Nathaniel Branden would say, "It is what it is."

By this time next year, I hope that my novel will be written and submitted. I also hope to be working at least part-time at a job that I can tolerate. Still be married and in love with my husband and he with me. Saving money for my next cross-country trip. [I want to go every year or every two years for the rest of my life]. And still enjoying my animals, the woods, and life.


I am writing a novel, as I've said before and thus am behind once again in visiting all of your blogs and commenting. Sorry for that. I will get to visiting all of yas to leave comments over the next few weeks or so.

And anyone who has a dog, if you haven't watched The Dog Whisperer, you ought to give it a whirl. He has most excellent ideas about dog psychology and communication. My current dog who is really angelic has become even more perfect since I started doing some of the things he suggests.