Happy Solstice 2011

I had a pleasant Solstice.  This morning, I went to see my dad who has Lewey Body Dementia and is staying at an assisted living house.  (More over at my sapphoq on life blogspot...).  We had a pleasant visit and then we both went downstairs to hear a fellow sing Christmas songs.  He had an excellent voice, very clear with a good range.  On my way home, dog and I walked a mile on a local bike trail.

This afternoon, I took the older shyer kitty to the vet for his annual check-up which he passed with flying colors.  After dinner, I played some trivia on-line.  I've been continuing to challenge my brain daily.  Trivia is one of the newer things I've come up with.  Trivia forces me to think, to deliver the correct answer before the other triviacs do.  Because I type so fast, I am able to deliver rapid-fire guesses and will sometimes score that way.   Other times, my guesses are far off the mark.  Occasionally, I actually know an answer and that also feels good.

I continue to take pictures and also work on creating backgrounds and textures on my computer.  These are two of the pictures that I took today at a construction site.  Making textures gives me much happiness.  I've recently started creating photo collages out of pictures that I've taken.  When I am taking pictures or working on the computer, I do not feel much physical pain at all.  I figure that these activities are like crafts or hobbies for me and must trigger the release of endorphins-- the body's natural pain-killers.  Working on textures and some rudimentary 3-D building has also improved my perception somewhat.

What are some of the things you do in order to keep your brain stimulated and challenged?

sapphoq healing tbi

Sometimes

Sometimes I feel that I hate you.  You have interrupted my career, cost me my livelihood, made for numerous fights about money and the lack thereof now that I can no longer work full-time.  I am tired.


I am tired of being tired, tired of having to explain why it is that I do not understand this or can no longer do that safely.  I am tired of the betrayal.  You robbed me.  Damn you.


I am no saint.  There is never a time when I feel that I love you.  But there are times when I know that I notice the little things more-- the touch of a lover, the song of a bird, flowers blooming, weather shifts, the moon.  I am alive and that sure beats the alternative.


Sometimes I tell myself and others that my brain's name is now Briella-- still brilliant but a bit twisted and sideways.


Sometimes I mourn the old, sometimes I celebrate the new, sometimes I can just be.

sapphoq healing tbi