Falling and Physical Therapy Again

I've succeeded in injuring my back twice in a month.  After the first injury, there was a spot in the middle of my lower back that had spasms for three weeks.  Out came the TENS Unit.  I was glad that I had one [purchased for me after the motor vehicle accident which had insulted my brain into her present condition].  

A few days after the spasms stopped, I fell.  When I do fall, I tend to fall to the right.  I am still having trouble with uneven ground.  This time, I fell on my back.  I was not a happy camper.  My neck muscles kicked into automatic and strained forward in order to avoid a whiplash.  A week after this, I consented to sign up for physical therapy.

I had my eval this week.  I learned several things.  There was good news and not so good news.  The good news was that my hips were fairly strong and that the p.t. folks would work with me on some balance exercises and my uneven ground issue.  The bad news was that my falling had more to do with my perception problems [courtesy of the brain damage... le sigh] and that my right side, all these years later, was still showing evidence of having been far more injured during the accident than my left side.  I've worked very hard through the years and to find out that bit of news did not exactly thrill me.  Brain damage sucks.  Oh well.  I am alive to complain about it.  That is something.  Beats the alternative.

I was given a sheet of exercises to do at home.  That was something I had requested.  Some of them target the latest back injury.  Some of them target my very tight hamstrings.  Yeah, I did them today.  Yes, when I go to physical therapy I work very hard to derive the greatest benefit from it that I can.

Meanwhile, I have renewed my commitment to myself in terms of healthy eating habits, sleep, and exercise.  I am worth it.  This body is not the body that I came into the world with.  Likewise, Briella [still brilliant but a bit sideways] is not the brain that I came into the world with.  Shit happens and it is up to me to make the best of it.  Whining is ineffective.  I cannot be who I used to be.  I might as well keep striving to do the best I can with this particular set of cards that I've been dealt with.

sapphoq healing t.b.i. says:  I've done my share of screaming and crying.  I've been at this for quite awhile.  The grief and sorrow that I went through after realizing that my battered brain was not going to revert to the brain that I used to know was a very necessary grief and sorrow.  Because I've been at this for quite awhile, I am no longer overwhelmed by the impact that my traumatic brain injury has on my life.  Aside from the occasional bad moment, I pretty much keep myself moving forward as best I can these days.       

I Got Rhythm

    Both my mother and my father were excellent dancers.  They won dance contests together.  My mom was a wonderful tap dancer.  And Dad was an Arthur Murray Dance Instructor for a few years in his younger days.  I was naturally drawn to dancing as a child.  I wasn't good at running or kickball or basketball but I could dance.  


     My preferred dancing shoes are my sneakers.  I will dance to any kind of music.  Even now after my brain injury, I am quick to pick up new dances and put my own spin on them.


     After my brain injury, my balance [not in the technical sense of "inner ear damage," but rather more in the lay-person's sense of being able to walk around without falling into walls and things] was really pretty bad.  I fell sideways often.  The constant presence of external vertigo-- I am not dizzy, the world around me spins to the left-- did not help much at all.  I fell in my home.  I fell in the neighborhood.  I fell in the park.  I fell a lot.


     A wonderful anesthesiologist in private practice hooked me up with pool therapy.  The pool was indoors and there was a whole lot of folks like me in it.  The water had a combination of chlorine and salt in it.  There were pool therapists, pool therapist assistants, floats, music, laughter, tropical plants.  The water was kept warm as was the temperature in the pool room itself.  When I got into that pool, the pain melted away.  I was able to do the exercises given to me.  I found myself improving.  I used to spend up to two hours in the pool.  It was a relief during a time when not much was comfortable in my life.


I found a float against the wall that was v-shaped.  I asked what was done with it and soon I began to incorporate it into my exercises.  I would sit on the float and deliberately induce the vertigo to speed up.  I did this by spinning myself back and forth randomly in place on the float.  I learned to stick to my seat, not fall off.  After pool therapy was done, the neurologist remarked that my balance [in the lay-person's sense of the word I am sure] was much improved.  I knew this to be true because I was less bruised from falling.  I began to dance again.  At first with the cane, but it was definitely dancing.


     The other thing that happened immediately after my injury is that I began to insist that my husband not turn off the classical music when he was ready to sleep.  He wanted to.  I didn't want him to.  When he tried to turn it off, I cried.  After a few nights, he gave up and the music stayed on all night for the next two years.  


     Those of you who follow my sapphoq reviews blog may be aware that I love the author Oliver Sachs.  His book Musicophilia talks about the connection between music and the brain. [ http://www.oliversacks.com/books/musicophilia/ ].  The University of Western Ontario plans to carry out more research on the connection between music and movement.
[ http://communications.uwo.ca/western_news/stories/2012/January/finding_ties_between_music_the_brain_and_how_we_move.html ].


     In some of the t.b.i. support groups and functions that I've attended I've heard much talk of a religious or spiritual nature and how that sort of thing has helped other t.b.i. survivors.  Being an atheist and happily unchurched, I cannot add my voice to the chorus.  But what I can attest to is that music has been a very active and necessary part of my own recovery.


sapphoq healing t.b.i. 


     






http://communications.uwo.ca/western_news/stories/2012/January/finding_ties_between_music_the_brain_and_how_we_move.html

Falling 12/25/08

Some weeks ago I fell twice in one week.
My feet went out from under me one Saturday afternoon while walking and I fell flat on my back.
That was painful.

That Tuesday evening I took a hot shower in hopes of relieving the soreness in my back from falling a few days before.
I started feeling a bit odd and I noticed my field of vision getting spotty.
I managed to turn off the shower water and got out of the tub using the safety bar.
I went to grab the towel from the towel rack and at that point passed out.
When I came to, my elbow was shielding my head from the floor; I was on my right side; and my arms and legs-- particularly the left leg-- were shaking.

I managed to drag myself to the toilet bowl where I sat until I was able to walk.
Mate was in bed and had missed the whole thing.
We do keep a phone immediately outside the bathroom door for emergency purposes but all I could think about was the bright lights in the emergency room and not wanting to subject myself to all of that. So I didn't go.

The next day I was informed by the primary care doc that I have shower syncope. Basically that means I can faint in or around hot showers. Whatever.

A couple weeks later and I am still sore and having some rather painful right-sided back spasms. As long as I don't get up, shift positions, shit, or breathe I am okay. Back to the primary care doc's. I am starting physical therapy next week.

Meanwhile I have my tens unit running during awake hours. That helps the misery somewhat.

sapphoq healing t.b.i.