Discovery: New Region of the Brain

Some Indian company called Ceylon Support has located an entirely new and heretofore unnoticed region of the brain recently.  It was immediately dubbed, "Gullibus Uninterruptus."  The Gullibus Uninterruptus is located behind the frontal lobe and slightly to the right of the right temporal lobe.  Scientists say that we've missed it up until now because the region existed in the shadows of the executive part of the brain.

The function of Gullibus Uninterruptus is to separate the unlucky and the dumb from the herd of ever-evolving life on the planet.  This has some specific evolutionary advantages.  For one, it will put all telemarketing scams, Nigerian scams, and politicians out of work by the year 2099.  The year 3000 will bring on a new millenium of peaceful co-existence as humans merge more and more with their technological machinery.  Stuff that we find so essential to our lives today will be our lives by 3000.  Glory!

I received a test for Gullibus Uninterruptus the other day.  Ceylon Support has been interested in studying who in the population has active Gullibi Uninterrupti and who doesn't.  I am happy to report that the results of my test are in.  My Gullibus Uninterruptus-- although once active during the initial couple of years of recovery from brain damage-- is now happily and permanently retired.  Although it is reported that the Gullibus Uninterruptus can be activated again by periods of prolonged ignorance of evidence and/or denial of the same, it is highly unlikely that mine will be re-activated in this lifetime.  When the man from Ceylon Support found this to be my case, he was butthurt.  He had to reach his quota of 1000 people with developed Gullibi Uninterrupti in order to get paid his daily wage.

This is how things went during my test:

Hello, may I please speak to the madam of the house?

She's not here.

Oh, well I can talk with you.  I am from Ceylon Support and I understand that your computer has not been getting the Microsoft Updates.

[What followed was several minutes of me irritating the tester, claiming that I could not understand him].

Your computer has not been getting the Microsoft Updates.

Hold on there.  What.  Is.  My.  Name?

I can give you the registered name of my company and my phone number-- [speeding up his words considerably.  I've learned during my recovery from this t.b.i. thing that other people speeding up their words generally means they are trying to activate my Gullibus Uninterruptus].

Excuse me.  What.  Is.  My.  Name?

My registered--

Uh, no.  Not interested.  Good-bye.      


sapphoq healing t.b.i.