Rather unfortunate this whole question of motivation and the traumatic brain injury survivor. I suspect that I am not the only t.b.i.-er in the universe with disappearing motivation. The problem lies in intimidation. The world is noisy and multi-tasking. I am neither. Now finding my new true self even more out of step with society as a whole than I used to be, introspection and deep dark thoughts are now the norm. Or to put it another way-- the laziness factor.
I have written about this problem before. Laziness is composed of many facets. We have the sit factor, the sit-and-pitch-numerous-bitches factor, the mystic-meditator factor, and the oh-hell-I-think-I'll-just-sleep factor. Reality can be intimidating to those of us who are now content with or have to make do with single-tasking. Since I am not prepared to argue that reality is entirely subjective, I must leave behind the fantasy world of the quick-fix and the get-rich-now. We are indeed human beings and not human-doers as the old saw goes. I find that being usually does not exist outside of a context. Thus the backdrop of doing cannot be eliminated.
Intimidation. Change is intimidating. A messy house-- or rather, the prospect of cleaning it up and organizing-- is intimidating. Taking risks is risky. Am I better off hanging with bunches of people who have no ambition or hanging with people who do have ambition in healthy measure? Is it better to keep the peace or to hold one's own in an argument? Is intimidation the indication of time to run off and hide or the measure of inner strength?
Questions, questions, questions. These questions do have answers. If I want something different, I must do something different. The old ways and the learned new ways do not work. Change I must. And so I look intimation squarely in the eye and I laugh!
sapphoq healing tbi
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