I REMEMBER DAYS WHEN...

I remember days when I did not have to fight to survive, when bureaucracies were not breathing down my neck, when I was less cynical and parasitic people stayed away.

Over and over again I have to fill out forms, re-live my car accident, be "interviewed" by this one or that one who works for agencies that have forgotten that I am nobody's case.

Over and over again I have to inform people that no, I am unable and unwilling to be your personal taxicab or hugger or guru.

Over and over again I am reminded that my brain no longer functions in the ways that I have gotten used to.



I remember days when I thought I knew where I was going and I thought that I would and could get there.

Over and over again I have to help myself because the "agencies" that are supposed to help me DON'T help me because they don't know HOW to help me without falling back upon their tired old suppositions and generalizations about people with traumatic brain injury-- and I just don't fit into any categories or labels well. I never have.

Over and over again I have to tell these professional helpers that if they are not going to help me, then I need them to GET OUT OF MY WAY.



I remember days when I was me.

I have become the stranger, the other. I no longer feel at home in my own brain.


~sapphoq