Sometimes

This is one of this month's digital art pics that I made from two of my photos.  I named it "The Grid" after thinking about information storage and broken synapses. 

Sometimes when I am full of brain fog, I am able to stop what I am doing and take the dog out for a walk in a peaceful place. 

Sometimes when I don't know what to do, I take a line from one of my favorite singers and ask myself, "What would Jimmy Buffett do?"  If I am having a problem that requires clear thought and decision-making, I ask myself, "What would a logical person do?"  And if I don't know what a logical person would do, I call up a logical person and ask them.

Sometimes I force myself to slow down, especially when my wheels are spinning and I am restless.
Sometimes I force myself to speed up, especially when I feel mokus and not wanting to move.

Sometimes blogging helps, sometimes social networking helps, sometimes nothing helps.  When nothing helps, I can sit or stand and hurt for awhile.

Sometimes things happen that are too big for me to forgive.  Not being a churched person, I don't have to offer forgiveness unless it is asked for.  And sometimes I forgive "the part of" the person "that didn't know any better."  Apathy or indifference is preferable to resentments these days.  Forgiveness is not something that can be rushed.  The rush to forgive can lead one into fresh revictimization.

Sometimes I make promises and I don't deliver.  Sometimes people and organizations make promises and they don't deliver either.  I've learned to make less promises.

Sometimes helping people get stuck in traps.  They believe in fictions instead of investigating for themselves.  Or they don't really think that we can improve much at all or have a real life.  That has to be their problem.  My responsibility is to lessen the impact of their false, limiting beliefs on anything that has to do with my life and my wishes and my dreams.

Sometimes people don't want to deal with brain damage or the changes that are wrought in us because of our brain damage.  People get scared off by what they don't understand.  Friends flee.  Potential employers hide behind excuses.  Past employers don't want us back.  I don't waste energy being good enough for anyone else these days.  I have to be good enough for me.

Sometimes people label anger as being "negative" or "bad."  I have not found this to be true.  The truth is quite different.  Muddied anger and rage and resentments can all be liabilities which we allow to dictate our thoughts and behaviors.  There is a clear anger that is a call to action.  What I have found is this: Anger is my truest friend.
 
sapphoq healing tbi