Kicked to the Curb

I expected it to happen. Even so it stung when it did. Today at long last I have been notified (per my specific request) that-- in so many words-- my former employer does not want me back. Budget cuts was the excuse given to the job developer. Sure as shit though, my former employer's website lists several job titles, some of them part-time. No matter. I've been kicked to the curb once again because of my traumatic brain injury which came unbidden into my life five and a half years ago. The real killer is that my former employer has an outstanding reputation in part due to their innovative acquired brain injury day treatment program.

Business is business, my dad's wise counsel. That is the way of it. I do not have to attach judgment to this one. It is what it is, Nathaniel Branden's wise counsel. I have to deal with things the way they are and not the way I wish them to be.

I had lunch with a good friend the other day. She began talking about BOCES and how her kids would not have made it through school otherwise. The professors are wonderful, she said. I'm pretty good with computers-- troubleshooting, removing nasty viruses and spyware and all of that. I've never actually taken one apart but I know I have untapped mechanical ability. That's what the armed forces test said in high school. And another test recently. I want to take computers apart, blow out the dust, fix the insides, add and subtract and put them back together again.

I have a direction, several directions, several unexplored options. That keeps me from total despair. It takes courage to dream new dreams. It takes guts to be who I am in a world that places more value on business sense than on human beings.

sapphoq healing tbi